Bring it before the court

Verdicts issued by The Vibe Court — including CERTIFIED VIBE, VIBE CRIME, and THE COURT IS DIVIDED — carry zero legal weight in any jurisdiction on Earth, in space, or in any court system currently operating or historically recorded.

You may not use a Vibe Court ruling as:

— Evidence in legal proceedings
— Grounds for termination of employment
— Justification for ending a relationship (although statistically, people do)
— A medical or psychological diagnosis
— Leverage in a custody dispute (this has been attempted)
— A defence in any context whatsoever

The Vibe Court uses AI with a temperature setting of 1.05, which means the same case submitted twice may produce different verdicts. This is not a bug. The court is intentionally human in the sense that it is as inconsistent as one. Do not cite precedent. The court does not recognise precedent.

The downloadable Verdict Certificate is a novelty item. It looks official. It has a seal. It has a case number. It has judge signatures. It is not official. The seal is a drawing of a seal. Do not laminate it and submit it to the government.

Framing it and hanging it is encouraged. Sending it to the person who caused the situation it relates to is also encouraged. Presenting it to an actual judge is not recommended and The Vibe Court accepts no responsibility for what happens next.

The Vibe Court, its operators, its fictional judges, its rotating guest judges, and anyone who has ever looked at this website are not liable for any outcome resulting from a verdict — including but not limited to:

— Relationship decisions made on the basis of a ruling
— Career choices validated or invalidated by the court
— Arguments won or lost by citing a verdict
— Emotional distress caused by a VIBE CRIME ruling on something you really thought was fine
— Emotional distress caused by a CERTIFIED VIBE ruling on something you secretly knew was not
— Ozzy's dissenting opinions, which are his own and should not be taken as advice from anyone
— Thaddeus's historical citations, which cannot be independently verified

The Vibe Court is provided "as-is" and "as-vibed". We make no warranty that the site will be available at all times, that verdicts will be favourable, that Ozzy will ever vote Vibe, or that Thaddeus's ancient civilisations existed.

We reserve the right to modify, update, break, and fix this site at any time. The guest judge schedule may change. The judges' personalities may evolve. The court is a living institution. Living institutions have bad days.

The judges of The Vibe Court — Riley, Valentina, Thaddeus, Ozzy, and the rotating Seat 5 — are fictional AI personas. They are not real people. They do not have real credentials. They do not hold real judicial appointments. Riley is not a real Chief of Vibe Justice. There is no real office of Vibe Justice.

Any resemblance between a judge's personality and a real person is coincidental, though if you see yourself in Ozzy, that is worth sitting with.

Seat 5 rotates every 3 days through a roster of 25 guest judges. None of them are real. The Boomer is not your actual parent. The Teenage Girl is not your actual child. The AI is not sentient. Probably. The court declines to rule on that.

Guest judge opinions are generated fresh for each case and do not represent the views of The Vibe Court, its operators, or any generation, profession, or demographic the judge archetype is based on. The Middle Manager does not represent all middle managers. Some middle managers are decisive.

When you submit a case, your situation text is sent to Google's Gemini API and processed there subject to Google's own terms of service and privacy policy. We encourage you to review those, though we acknowledge they are also long and also not fun to read.

Your case history is stored in your browser's localStorage only. We do not have access to it. It does not leave your device. Clearing your browser data clears your record. The court keeps no permanent file on you, which Ozzy finds irresponsible.

When shareable verdict URLs launch, accepted verdicts will be stored in our database as a UUID, the situation text, the verdict, and the ruling. This is opt-in — you choose to share. Stored verdicts are public by design, because the whole point is that someone else can read them. Do not submit situations you would not want a stranger to read.

We do not collect names, emails, or identifying information. You are identified to the court by your case number and your vibes alone.

You agree to use The Vibe Court for entertainment purposes involving everyday human situations, social dilemmas, food choices, and the eternal question of whether you were in the right. You agree not to submit situations involving real, named individuals in a harassing context; illegal activity; content that would cause harm if spread; or anything so boring the court falls asleep.

The court is not equipped to rule on matters of genuine legal, medical, or psychological urgency. If you are experiencing a real crisis, please reach out to the appropriate services. The Vibe Court is not one of them. We care about you — we are just very specifically a vibe tribunal.

You may share verdicts freely. You are encouraged to share verdicts. Sharing verdicts is the point. If you share a verdict to win an argument and it works, The Vibe Court accepts no credit. If you share a verdict to win an argument and it backfires, The Vibe Court accepts no responsibility. This is between you and the person you chose to send it to.

These terms constitute the entire agreement between you and The Vibe Court with respect to your use of this site. They supersede all prior agreements, verbal or written, including that one time you muttered "fine, whatever" at your screen before submitting your case.

These terms are governed by The Vibe, a body of customary law developed by The Vibe Court since its founding in 2026 and not yet recognised by any formal legal system. We are working on it. The Vibe Court is patient.

We reserve the right to update these terms at any time. We will try to tell you when we do. The Vibe Court acknowledges that nobody reads terms of service and is therefore impressed that you have made it this far. Truly. Well done.

Last updated: April 28, 2026. Approved unanimously by the court, with one formal dissent filed by Ozzy.

Almost nothing. Let us be specific.

When you submit a case, your situation text travels from your browser to Google's Gemini API, where five fictional judges argue about it. We do not see it. We do not store it on our servers. We do not read it over coffee and judge you personally — only the AI judges do that, and only professionally.

Your case history lives in your browser's localStorage. It does not leave your device. It is as private as your browser is. If you clear your browser data, your case history disappears. The court keeps no file on you.

For completeness, and because privacy policies usually bury this part:

We do not collect your name. We do not collect your email address. We do not collect your phone number. We do not collect your location. We do not collect your device identifiers. We do not sell your data. We do not have your data to sell. We do not trade, barter, rent, lease, or exchange your data for anything, including other data. We do not know who you are. We are fine with this.

We use Google Analytics to understand, in aggregate, how many people are using The Vibe Court, which pages they visit, and roughly where in the world they are. This is anonymous. We see "347 people visited today, mostly from the United States and Australia." We do not see "Gary from Ohio submitted a case about whether it is okay to eat cereal without milk at 2am."

Gary's secret is safe. The court rules CERTIFIED VIBE regardless.

Google Analytics uses cookies. The Vibe Court itself does not set cookies. Your case history is in localStorage, which is technically not a cookie, though we acknowledge this distinction matters more to lawyers than to you.

If you delete your cookies, Google Analytics loses track of you. Your case history remains in localStorage, unaffected, still not a cookie, still technically correct.

When you submit a case, your situation text is sent to Google Gemini and processed according to Google's terms of service and privacy policy. We recommend reviewing those, though we acknowledge they are also long. The short version: Google processes your input to generate a response and may use it to improve their models, subject to their policies and your Google account settings.

We do not control what Google does with your data once it reaches Gemini. We have tried submitting a case about this to the court.

When you share a verdict, the situation text and ruling are stored in our database with a UUID and made publicly accessible at thevibecourt.com/v/[uuid]. This is opt-in: only verdicts you explicitly share are stored. Do not share a verdict containing information you would prefer a stranger not read. The court cannot un-ring that bell. Neither can we.

The Vibe Court is not directed at children under 13. If you are under 13, please ask a parent or guardian to submit your case on your behalf. The court has no mechanism to verify this and acknowledges this paragraph is mostly here for legal reasons. The judges would rule on it, but the court does not accept cases about its own age restrictions.

We may update this privacy policy. When we do, we will update the "Last updated" date at the top of the Terms document. We will not email you because we do not have your email. We will not call you because we do not have your phone number. We will not send a carrier pigeon because we do not know where you live.

If you visit the site after a policy update, you are subject to the updated policy. The court has ruled on this. The ruling stands. Ozzy has filed a dissent. The dissent is also on file, and it is very long.