Bring it before the court

Verdicts carry zero legal weight in any jurisdiction on Earth, in space, or in any court system currently operating or historically recorded. You may not use a Vibe Court ruling as evidence in legal proceedings, grounds for termination, or a defence of any kind.

However. You may absolutely present a CERTIFIED VIBE ruling to a friend, partner, sibling, or colleague as proof that you were right. This is the primary use case. The court was built for this moment. Frame it if you want.

The same case submitted twice may produce different verdicts. This is not a bug. The court is intentionally inconsistent, operating at a temperature of 1.05, which means the deliberation introduces genuine variation. The court is as inconsistent as a real one — possibly more honest about it.

If you receive a verdict you disagree with, you may: (a) file an appeal using the Appeal function, (b) retry with a different guest judge in Seat 5, or (c) submit the case again and hope for a different outcome. All three options are available. The court notes that option (c) is the most common choice and the least likely to produce lasting satisfaction.

Appeals are reviewed by Riley, Chief of Vibe Justice, personally. All appeals, regardless of content, emotional appeal, or historical precedent, are decided by Riley. Thaddeus has requested involvement in the appeals process on seventeen separate occasions. The request has been denied seventeen times. Ozzy has filed a dissenting note on the appeal process itself, which Riley has not read.

The Vibe Court is not liable for any outcome resulting from a verdict — including relationship decisions, career choices, arguments won or lost, social consequences, or emotional distress caused by a VIBE CRIME ruling on something you really thought was fine.

The court is particularly not liable for outcomes arising from you sending a verdict to the person the verdict was about. This happens more than you might think. The court did not tell you to send it. The court merely issued the ruling. What you did with it is on you.

The court acknowledges that receiving a VIBE CRIME verdict on something you were confident about is unpleasant. The court has deliberated on this and ruled, internally, that the discomfort is proportionate and educational. Riley calls it “useful information, delivered efficiently.” Valentina has requested that users be reminded to consider the full context of why they feel upset. Thaddeus cited Stoic philosophy. Ozzy said the feeling means something. Dr. Chen agreed with Ozzy, which surprised everyone.

The judges are fictional AI personas. They are not real people. Riley is not a real Chief of Vibe Justice. There is no real office of Vibe Justice. Valentina does not hold a real position in Situational Ethics. Thaddeus has not studied at any institution, ancient or otherwise. Ozzy is not a real conspiracy theorist, though the court acknowledges he is very good at playing one.

The guest judges — all 25 of them — are also fictional. The Renaissance Scholar has not studied the Renaissance. The Boomer is not a specific person. The Gen Z Judge does not represent Gen Z. They are archetypes, not individuals, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is coincidental and also probably intentional in a general sense.

The judges operate independently. No judge can be instructed to reach a particular verdict by the user, the court administration, or Google's terms of service. If you submit a case specifically designed to elicit a Vibe verdict on something that is clearly a Crime, the court will deliberate honestly and Ozzy will vote Crime regardless. He has done this 89 times on record. He will continue to do it.

The court also cannot guarantee that Thaddeus will cite a real civilisation. The court has tried. Thaddeus is committed to the bit in ways the court does not fully control.

When you submit a case, the court keeps a record of it. Specifically: what you wrote, what the judges ruled, and a random ID number that means nothing to anyone. Your browsing history, name, email, phone number, location, and general vibe as a person are not collected. We don’t know who you are. We only know what you submitted.

Your case history — your Vibe Record — lives in your own browser. The court doesn’t have it. If you clear your browser data, it’s gone. The court cannot recover it because the court never had it.

The court knows what you did. Not who you are. This is, the court notes, more than most people can say about their situationship.

Your submitted situation may appear in The Docket, Case of the Day, or Split Decisions — the public features that show what kinds of things people bring before the court. This is, to be clear, the entire point of submitting something to a public tribunal.

The court does not sell your data. The court does not run ads. The court uses your submissions to show other people that yes, someone also submitted “is it a crime to eat cereal without milk” — and the court ruled on it — and this is apparently what people come here for.

If you would prefer your situation not appear publicly: the court’s current policy is to suggest not submitting it. The court is working on a more elegant solution and will update these terms when it has one.

Your situation text is sent to Google’s AI to generate the judge speeches. Google has a privacy policy. It is long. Thaddeus found it cosmically dense. Riley found it efficient. Ozzy read it three times and believes it says less than it appears to.

The court also uses Google Analytics to understand, in aggregate and anonymously, how people use the site. You can opt out at tools.google.com/dlpage/gaoptout. The court respects this. Ozzy opted out in 2019 and has not elaborated on why.

Use The Vibe Court for entertainment. The court is designed for everyday social situations — food choices, communication habits, relationship dynamics, workplace norms, and the eternal question of whether what you did was actually fine.

Do not submit: situations designed to harass a specific named individual; content intended to generate harmful, abusive, or illegal material; situations that require genuine legal, medical, or psychological intervention. The court is not a substitute for a lawyer, a doctor, a therapist, or a real conversation with the person involved.

The court maintains a non-exhaustive list of situations it is not equipped to adjudicate:

For all of the above: please contact the appropriate professional. The court wishes you well. The court cannot help with these things and will not attempt to.

The court's Judge My Friend feature allows you to submit a situation on behalf of someone else. The court permits this. The court also notes that the person being submitted has not consented to being judged by an AI tribunal, and suggests that you exercise the same discretion you would before sending anyone's personal situation to any public forum.

If the verdict is a Crime and you send it to them: that is now its own separate situation you could submit to the court. The court finds this recursive. Ozzy finds it predictable.

These terms are governed by The Vibe, a body of customary law developed by The Vibe Court since its founding in 2026 and not yet recognised by any formal legal system. The Vibe Court is patient. The Vibe Court expects recognition eventually. The Vibe Court is prepared to wait.

In the event of any conflict between these terms and the laws of your jurisdiction, the laws of your jurisdiction will govern, and the court will file a formal note of disappointment. The note will be written by Ozzy. It will be sixteen pages long. It will be accurate.

The Vibe Court reserves the right to update these terms at any time, for any reason, including if Thaddeus discovers a new historical precedent that requires incorporation, or if Ozzy's ongoing investigation reaches a conclusion that necessitates a policy change. Users will not be notified of updates because the court does not have your contact information. The court has explained this. See § 5.0.

The Vibe, as a governing framework, operates across all time zones, all devices, all browsers, and in principle all social situations regardless of whether they have been submitted to the court. The court does not claim jurisdiction over situations it has not been asked to judge. The court merely notes that it could judge them, and has opinions.

Last updated: April 28, 2026. Approved unanimously by the court, with one formal dissent filed by Ozzy on the grounds that unanimous approval is statistically suspicious and he wanted it on the record that he reviewed the document independently and found two things he would have worded differently.

We do not collect your name, email, phone number, or location. Verdicts are stored as a UUID, situation text, verdict, and ruling. You are identified to the court by your case number and your vibes alone. Your case history is stored in your browser's localStorage and is not transmitted to our servers.

The court is genuinely committed to not knowing who you are. This is partly for privacy reasons and partly because it makes the verdicts more honest. The court treats every case on its merits, not on its author.

The Vibe Court uses localStorage, not cookies, to store your case history. This is a technical distinction that matters to your browser and is slightly interesting to anyone who cares about web architecture. The practical difference for you: your history lives in your browser. If you clear your browser data, your Vibe Record is gone. The court cannot recover it. The court does not have it.

Google Analytics uses cookies to collect aggregate, anonymous traffic data. You can opt out at tools.google.com/dlpage/gaoptout. The court respects this choice and will not judge you for it. This is, to the court's knowledge, the only situation on this website that will not be judged.

Riley's response to Ozzy's privacy note: “The court has reviewed Ozzy's sixteen-page document. The court's privacy practices are as described in §§ 5.0–5.2 and §§ 8.0–8.1. Ozzy's document has been filed. It has not been endorsed.”